Adult? Neurodivergent? Missed as a Child? You are Not alone
Neurodivergent Differences, Challenges & Symptoms
Neurodivergent is a nonmedical term that describes people whose brain develops or works differently for some reason. This means the person has different strengths and struggles from people whose brains develop or work more typically. While some people who are neurodivergent have medical conditions, it also happens to people where a medical condition or diagnosis hasn’t been identified.
Cleveland Clinic
Neurodivergent people who come late to diagnosis (or who “age out” of school-provided services) have been living for years—perhaps decades—as invisibly physically and neurologically disabled people in a world that was not designed for them. Many have already reached at least one crisis point—an episode of neurodivergent burnout, shutdown, or extended freeze. Some may have experienced a full neurodivergent breakdown in functioning.In 2020, a new study estimated that—far higher than earlier estimates—between 15% and 20% of the global population is neurodivergent or neurodiverse (ND).
That is, their experienced neurotype—which can affect everything from sensory experiences, pain perception & processing, sleep, digestion, emotional responses to stimuli & more—is different from the majority—who are also referred to as “neurotypical.”
ND people, at any age, need accommodations and support as they cope with their neurologically-based differences.
Practical life management & self-care
Emotional/social & relational needs
Physical differences & challenges
Personal meaning, soul/spiritual wellness
Until the pandemic of 2020 brought more widespread opportunities to self-reflect, self-identify, and explore differences, it was initially thought that only a tiny fraction of humans are neurodivergent.
No two Neurodivergent People are ND in the same way; each will need to forge a personal path. But In 2020, a new study estimated that—far higher than earlier estimates—between 15% and 20% of the global population is neurodiverse.
To survive and thrive, Neurodivergent People need to develop their own unique, healthy, adaptive ways of moving through the world.
Different Challenges, Different Needs
The origins of neurodivergencies can be complex. Many forms are genetic; others are acquired through accidents, illnesses, or physical/experiential trauma. Formal diagnosis for adults who were not identified early in life is both prohibitively expensive and fraught with barriers the neurodivergent brain is particularly ill-equipped to navigate.
ADHD, autism & other neurodivergency communities support and accept self-diagnosis—also called self-identification and self-recognition.
Understanding the complex nature & origins of neurodivergence can help the ND coach empathize, attune, and gear-shift with the client throughout the coaching journey.
The primary forms of genetic neurodivergency that are apparent in early childhood tend to run in families. These include autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, giftedness, and also a constellation of associated “comorbid” neurological syndromes (dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, narcolepsy, epilepsy, tic disorders, movement and coordination disorders, speech disorders, and differences in sensory sensitivities).
Infectious disease, immune disorders, and nutritional factors may also contribute to systemic differences in the human neurological system.
Birth trauma and maternal medication during childbirth associated with higher rates of autism
The explosion of access to information and peer support within the past decade has also heightened awareness of alternative presentations of neurodivergent traits, sensitivities, gifts, and characteristics.
How to Find the Right Neurodivergence Life Coach or Mentor
Education and Expertise: Especially because neurodivergent people have often been harmed by traditional counseling, coaching, and/or therapeutic techniques, it’s important as an adult neurodivergent person to work with support peopole you can trust. Never be afraid to ask a potential coach, therapist or counselor how they received their specific training or certifications in coaching individuals with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, trauma, sensory processing disorders, executive function issues, or other neurodivergent conditions.
Beyond “book learning,” however, there are several qualities that neurodivergent life coaches must have to be effective with clients whose (daily, weekly, monthly, even hourly) need for different kinds of support may change.
Empathy and Understanding: A good life coach for neurodivergent individuals should be able to understand and empathize with their unique challenges. Look for someone who is patient, kind, and able to listen to your concerns without judgment, who can readily place themselves in your shoes as a client. Top-down demands for achievement and accountability (“Should,” “Must,” “Will,” etc.) are often more harmful than helpful, while a style that’s encouraging, focused on barrier removal & celebrating incremental progress, are shown in the evidence-based literature to be more constructive and less threatening to people who are autistic, ADHD, traumatized, or otherwise ND.
Flexibility and Adaptability: Neurodivergent individuals often have diverse motivational pathways, modes of learning, information-processing styles, and communication preferences. Look for a life coach who is flexible and adaptable in their coaching style and can adjust their approach to meet your individual needs.
Progress-Oriented Approach: A good adult neurodivergent life coach should help clients set clear, realistic goals and create a plan to achieve them—while also allowing plenty of room for learning, adjustments, setbacks, accommodations, and restarts. Look for someone who is focused on helping you reach your goals according to your own priorities, and who can provide you with the kind of check-ins and support you experience as help and structure—not demands and disappointment.
Feedback and Accountability: A good coach provides regular feedback in a form the client prefers. Some neurodivergent people appreciate live, face-to-face encouragement and questions; others may need the space to track and manage accountability in writing or voice recordings. Look for someone who can provide constructive, motivational suggestions, help you troubleshoot root causes of frustrations, identify areas for small improvements, and who can remind you to notice and build on your existing strengths and accomplishments.
Overall, the most important thing is to find a life coach who you feel comfortable working with and who can help you achieve your goals. Don't be afraid to ask questions and interview potential coaches to find the right fit for you.
